Well, as you all are aware we are expecting for the 5th, and I might add, THE FINAL time. I am now 18weeks & have been wondering just when my stomach will go POP, however I am not wondering anymore it finally made its debut. I wish I could share a photo with you all but I can't.
I can't believe it went from barely nothing to BAM, you defiantly know there's a baby in there. I was enjoying my flat tummy though and sense I'd lost so much weight the past month I actually had reached my weight goal and then some, but that didn't prove to be such a proud accomplishment when your expecting and needing to gain some weight not loose it in huge amounts. I had lost even more sense my last dr appt which he won't be giving me high fives over either. BUT, I have started to gain back the weight so maybe he won't be to hard on me.
I've struggled more this pregnancy then I ever have with appetite. I just don't have one at all. I don't really get hungry, and when I am NOTHING sounds good at all. Most thoughts of food make me want to vomit. I can't, in any way, eat any greasy foods. If the food has been cooked in any grease it makes me sick. I tried last night for the first time in a long time to eat fast food, and I was hungry as I've ever been and caught a smell of the fries YACK! I lost my appetite right there and ate like a bite of my sandwich. Aaron came over to me, grabbed my sandwich, took out the grilled chicken and handed the chicken to me and said EAT IT! He's been after me to feed his baby, lol.
About the only thing I do enjoy eating, and actually crave it most days is STEAK, and not just any steak, it has to be a good, expensive cut of beef. Thank goodness we have most our steaks left from our cow we got last year. I've been cooking them like crazy. We have steak almost every night. No one is complaining. For my birthday I made "Bree's fav's" (for everyone's bday I make them their favorite meal, no matter what it is, so I had to do it for myself too, lol) it consisted of marinated beef tenderloins (YUM, to die for) my mother in law, Susans tossed green salad (SO GOOD, thanks for the recipe) & of course we can't forget our beloved STUFFED MUSHROOMS! I'm salivating right now just thinking about them. I made 2 cookie sheets of stuffed mushrooms and I ate them all, I even caught myself hiding the left over ones so I could eat them the next day all to myself, and then even worse (like a little kids would) I secretly warmed them up the next day and went and hid in the bathroom & ate like 6 of them by myself. haha! Sorry kids!
I always have the ingredients on hand to make them you never know when the craving will come on.
So, anyhow..... my belly has POPPED out, even if I was still in denial over this pregnancy it would have to be dealt with at this point because this baby is very active and making himself/herself known. Not only am I showing obviously now, this baby is very active, probably moreso then any other baby I've carried. Baby Poulson starts early too, kicking and turning and flipping around at 6a.m. Baby doesn't stop during the day either, and then keeps going as soon as I lie down for bed and relax. Every time I feel baby move it moves me emotionally. I'm highly emotional this time anyhow (making my husband crazy cuz I'm not really a cryer) so feeling baby move around is really touching to me. I guess I just didn't really want another and the way it all came about is just proof to me that this baby is meant to be with us for whatever reason it wouldn't let us forget about its spirit. I had to go get Aaron from work and last night as I was driving into Provo on 500 west I drove past the hospital and I looked all the way up to the top level where the delivery rooms are, and the room I delivered A'jaye in was being used. The light was on and you could see activity going on in side. An instant fear, and flashback came over me of A'jaye's birth and how hard it was on me and her. I just got upset and anxious inside I won't lie to anyone the thought of delivering this baby scares the hell right out of me. We had a VERY hard delivery with A'jaye it was scary, it was stressful, it was hard, long, and traumatized me and Aaron both....but just as quickly as the thoughts and fear came into my mind they just as quickly were taken out and replaced with a calming feeling that things would be fine. So, I guess I have to trust those instincts and feelings and hope that they are real. I know that this baby is meant for our family and is already very much apart of it. I already love this baby so much and can't wait to meet him/her. We have no names yet, so those that have asked DONT KNOW....NO CLUE, NO IDEAS.... and we have defiantly decided NOT to find out what it is. We have our Ultrasound in a few weeks, but we aren't finding out. We think it may be better for us, and maybe funner. We just feel like finding out is a bad idea. I'll be 100% honest, if its a girl and we find out this early, we WILL go thru the remainder of the pregnancy disappointed, we love this baby EITHER WAY, but the honest facts are we will be somewhat heart broken, and neither of us want to feel that way, or go thru the remainder of our pregnancy feeling that way so just finding out when baby arrives will be better because no matter what it is, when its in your arms you don't give a dam what it is, boy or girl your just happy its with you, in your arms and healthy and safe.
So, NO we aren't finding out this time, it will be a surprise either way, and a surprise that we will love no matter what the sex. I just wish these dreams of twins would leave my night time dreams!!!!!
Thats all for now!
3 comments:
I want to see your cute belly! I love baby bumps! I am really thinking about going to Provo on Saturday so if you are home I want to stop and see you. The boys are ice fishing all day, and I do not feel like sitting at home. I am glad you are starting to feel better- keep feeding that cute baby! I know what you mean about how it's nice to lose weight but then again it's bad for the baby. I was lovin' when I lost all that weight when I was prego.... just a selfish side of me. ha ha. This will be such a fun pregnancy to not know the gender! It will make it a hundred more times exciting to have the baby. I wish I could do that, but Chad & I are not patient enough to ever not find out the gender. So I know you had all those complications with AJ and all- are you using the same Dr? Cuz if you explain to them your situation and how you don't want to go through that again and if things get bad for the to do a C-section? I know C-section's can be dangerous and it's not something you probably want, but maybe it would be best especially if you have a hard time again. I would be all for the scheduled C-section if it was me. But, really what do I know? I have only given birth once. Anyways, I'm jealous of the stuffed mushrooms you had on your bday!
Bree, eat the steaks they are good for you and the baby. Lots of potein! We pray for you daily that things will go well and be ok. Prayer helps! You can do this and the lord will help you and your family. As for finding out the sex of the baby, we had 6 children not knowing what they would be and to be honest it makes it more exciting come delivery time! It doesnt matter, like you said once you hold that baby in your arms what it is! I am praying everyday though that you get that little boy! I know how much you want one! Oh yes after hearing about your dinner you fixed I am wishing you would of invited us! My mouth is still salivating!!!!!!! Love you daughter dear!!!!
I found out with my last one and I think is funner not to know. Its what got me through labor no sense pushing if you already no what it is. So I think it is great that you don't want to know.
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