Breaking our silence.............

Well, Aaron and I were sorta thinking we'd make a huge secret public knowledge this weekend at dinner possibly, or sometime when the moment seemed right. Right after Dad got done talking, as everyone was seated for Thankgiving dinner, Aaron looked at me like.."now's the time, babe" and as I looked down the table (cuz I was standing near dad) and I seen all your beedy eyes and hungry glares I instantly got intimidated by ya all. lol! So you can say that I chickened out. I don't know why, its not a bad announcement, just a bit shocking is all. Anyhow, Aaron thinks its terrible of me to make an announcement like this on our family blog but my idea is different, what better place to share this at then a place you all come to read about our milestones, the changes and seasons of our lives so with that said we'll announce it here......Aaron and I are PREGNANT!

I know, I know......(Mom, I couldn't stand to keep this from you...but I can also see you right now GASPING for air....take a deep breath!, you too dad...I'll be ok!) we have a gazillion kids its seems like, and i have two very little ones but this isn't what we planned thats for sure. I don't feel like I need to explain or justify this to any of you, but when we found out we were infact devastated beyond belief. I won't get into details but we were taking ALL measure to prevent this and with an IUD in place for almost a year we still conceived this baby against all odds. When the Dr told me after taking out my IUD I spent the whole day in Aarons arms crying myself to a headache and two swollen eyes. My poor husband, a man that wants desperately to fix things whenever I'm crying, couldn't fix this one for me, he had to just cradle me in his arms and let me cry while he rubbed my face, and wiped my tears. It was tuff for him, I know cuz he hates when I'm upset, not to mention he was experiencing his own emotions over it. Needless to say, after the tears and anger had passed Aaron said something to me very meaningful and it must've been what I needed to hear from him. He said, this baby is a gift from God and for some reason this baby, against all odds, is meant to be in our family, and we have to except the honor of being this babies parents and family. NO, this isn't what we wanted, Aaron is scheduled to get fixed in January so I guess this sweet spirit thought ...O CRAP, I had better hurry! lol.

We feel blessed that the baby is ok due to the circumstances it could have been under with the IUD device. Its very dangerous, and to anyone thinking about using an IUD DONT DO IT! I wish I would have done my research. This could have been a very grim situation, and for that we feel blessed that we didn't have to go thru any part of that.

Although our house is about to go from NUTS, to INSANELY NUTS its ok, cuz honestly I've realized sense finding out that my place is to be a mother, and instead of thinking of it all the time as a hardship, and alot of work that is tiring, I've started thinking of it as a blessing that I'm able to be just a mother at home with my babies and I've started to embrace this job that God has blessed me with. YOu always want what you don't have, I've wanted a career for the past while and had made plans to go after it, but if I had a career I'd wish that i could just be a mom so embracing what we have, and the life that God has blessed us with is the ultimate challenge for all of us at times. I've actually learned alot about myself this last week so this baby has a purpose and so the journey begins.

We are due sometimes the end of June, and YES I would be lying to all of you if I told you we weren't hoping and praying for a son, but honestly Aaron and I just are hoping and praying for a healthy little baby, and a safe delivery. I was upset when I found out NOT because I'm going to have 5 kids, I was upset because I know my body really had a ruff time with delivering A'jaye and she had a ruff time too.......this is and was my concern, but everytime my mind goes there I'm always overwhelmed with the idea that this baby is strong, and determined (obviously) and wants to be here with us, things will be fine. So, there ya go. I'm proud of my girls for keeping a secret, they were dying to tell everyone they talked too this past weekend but we had told them that it was mom and dads job to let the secret out. We love our girls, and the more that the idea of another one settles in our heart and mind the more we embrace the fact that this baby must be something special and we couldn't be more happy about it. THe news is out!

LOVE YA ALL!