Well its wed Sept 24th. Tomorrow is A'jaye's surgery and I am now forced to deal with the emotions of it all. I don't want to! I have avoided the subject, I have avoided the thoughts and now its here and I have no choice but to go there in my mind. I have been relatively calm about it suprisingly but its also not been something I like to think about at all either.
I know that I am calm about it because I feel that she will be fine and that things will work out fine. My only fear is I don't want her to experience any pain, or discomfort, and I also fear that she will have to go thru far more then we want her to have to go thru. I don't want her to have to go thru a ton of procedures, and surgeries to get it right. So I just hope that things will work out and she won't have to worry about anything after this point.
I have spent more time down on my knees in prayer then I have in a long time. I have a lot of faith that things will be ok, and I have comfort in my heart that things will be fine but you still, as a mother, have those fears and doubts.
Aaron and I went out to a concert last weekend for his birthday, and it was nice to just not worry or think about it for an evening. Although it was his birthday, I needed the out more then anything. I feel like a brick is on my head and the nerves in the pit of my stomach are horrible. As my dad & mom always say, its just a bump in the road. Hopefully this "bump" will not turn into a huge boulder, but I have faith that it won't and we will all come out of this a little stronger and a lot more greatfu for the things we are blessed with.
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